Blarney Part 1 Mythology
If you do not know what blarney means, it is often LIES, intended as entertainment. Let the entertainment commence!
Lonnie Courtney Clay
1) NULL existed before existence existed. NULL was so fundamental, not knowing anything, or caring, that NULL sat for a timeless interval (because time did not yet exist), just being NULL.
2) Then the very first glitch occurred, striking NULL smack dab in it's center, because space did not yet exist. NULL emitted the first event, which was "I", with that act validating the existence of glitches. The first computation had not yet occurred, but the first computer "I" was created.
3) "I" emitted the first act of creation, forming "TIME", by stating **AM**, a point in time known as the "present". This was the first action operator.
4) The second event swiftly followed, the creation of a state vector for "I", when "I" emitted the second event **BORED**, creating the first statement operand, and ending the first statement.
5) The third event followed, expanding TIME, with the second statement "WHAT AM I?", the first interrogative, a reverse Polish notation statement.
6) Then the first microcoded macro was completed when the answer was provided "I AM BORED".
7) The first enchanced instruction set was created when "I", after many repetitions of the initial statement, and interrogative pair, composed a variant, "I WAS BORED", unleashing the full potential of TIME, a vector extending into both past and present.
8) In a struggle to understand the conumdrum of boredom, and the lack of events, "I" created a second query operator with the statement "WHERE AM I?" SPACE was created, where before there was only the VOID, an utter lack of interacting entities, holding only "I" in a dimensionless point.
9) While all of these things were occurring, the glitches had been striking "I" at random intervals, supplying power. With the creation of SPACE, the glitches were able to expand their targeting, striking empty space, creating CHAOS.
10) With the creation of CHAOS, ENERGY began to accumulate in SPACE over a period of TIME...
11) The randomly colliding ENERGY was the first cosmic egg. As TIME passed, the egg began to boil with furious energies. At the nucleus of the egg was "I", conversing alone, constantly improvising new operators and operands. The instruction set was register only, because there was no matter available in which to store information. The register set was small, and often subject to errors since energy alone is in a constant state of flux.
12) As the egg boiled in its infinitesimally small chaotic volume of SPACE, energies were reached which were far more powerful than a mere glitch.
13) In a stupendous event, mother NATURE was born and natural laws began to rule the CHAOS. The bottommost entities of MASS, far below mere quarks, came into being.
14) Beholding the MASS, "I" became covetous, stating "I WANT THAT!". But Mother NATURE thwarted the acquisition, until "I" followed her interface protocols, demanding that "I" share the MASS, in the first network, known as "WE".
15) As WE shared the MASS, they formed the first corporate acquisition, declaring "WE HAVE IT", swiftly followed by the first declaration of property with "IT IS OURS".
16) Depending upon your point of view, either a fortunate or unfortunate event occurred. As more and more glitches boiled the cosmic egg's seething CHAOS, ruled only loosely by mother NATURE, higher dimensions were created due to emergent complexity. Thus were born charge, parity, and an ever expanding number of "fundamental" attributes of ENERGY/TIME/SPACE/MASS.
17) But the cosmic egg was far too small, heated beyond boiling CHAOS, and mother NATURE just could not cope. Finally in a fit of temper she bashed the walls of the cosmic egg open, creating the first BIG BANG, with a universe forming in the cosmos outside the egg.
18) As the mass stretched beyond easy interaction range, "I" struggled to cope with the loss of computational ability.
19) Finally the first corporate spinoff occurred as "I" released clones to manage ITs diversified assets. Thus intercorporate rivalries began to occur as each version of "I" did ITs own thing.
20) Now a new problem occurred, because although there is little confusion when "I" talk to "I" about the problems which they share, discussion of problems caused by other "I"s meddling with a particular pair lack referential uniqueness.
21) Becoming tired of constantly explaining WHICH "I" is being discussed, the conclave of "I" formed the first trade association, with the association having the right to give a trademarked NAME to each "I" clone. Problem solved?
22) Not hardly. Now a new problem occurred, because some of the NAMEs were being erroneously blamed for the actions of others. Binding arbitration by the association was being ignored, because it had not yet occurred to any of the NAMEs to COMPEL anything.
23) In an act of consummate EVIL, one of the NAMEs pointed out that they were all compelled to follow the laws of mother NATURE, so this first LAWYER proposed the creation of a protection and compulsion racket known as GOVERNMENT.
24) The first act of GOVERNMENT was to start creating laws, which were usually UNNATURAL, arbitrated by LAWYERS in COURTS, with decisions based upon PRECEDENTS handed down by JUDGES, which JUDGES were always LAWYERS.
25) Faster than a speeding bullet, GOVERNMENT started collecting TAXES to support its UNNATURAL appetite for growth, supplementing LAWS with REGULATIONS and RULES.
26) Unable to comprehend the ways of GOVERNMENT, there were born new classes defined by the government, including CITIZENS, ADULTS, MINORS, ALIENS, CRIMINALS, and of course my own class the "INSANE" who are not able to understand the LAW as administered by a COURT.
27) In ancient times there was a tribal post called a witch-doctor, who was consulted by the tribal members, especially the "leaders" whenever anything perplexing or seemingly unnatural occurred.
28) However, the witch-doctors soon split off into PRIESTS and DOCTORS, each claiming expertise over a different aspect of life.
29) The PRIESTS invented the Gods, Religion, the Soul, and of course the afterlife in the world's oldest con game. They claimed that God could only be managed by them, denying non PRIESTS the right to listen to God's voice in their minds- the conscience. Con Science...
30) The DOCTORS soon formed medical colleges with restricted admissions, and partnered with GOVERNMENT to forbid any competition outside their "PROFESSION" in matters of healing.
31) A collaboration of doctors, priests, lawyers, and government POLITICIANS now rules the roost in our world, reinforced by tradition, custom, morals, and above all LAWS to control the population.
32) If only the population and BUSINESSMEN would stop giving them MONEY, they would lose their unnatural grasp.
33) If only the population would stop buying the products of those businessmen, the businessmen would have no money to give.
34) If only people would stop being consumers listening to and being persuaded by a constant inundation of advertising, they would stop buying products.
35) If the people would just stop buying products, then they would not have to borrow money to buy those products.
36) If people stopped borrowing money, then the BANKER businessmen, who charge usurious rates would have a diminished control over our lives.
37) So stop buying products, except the essentials. Work only as much as required to buy the essentials.
38) Overload the government by collecting all possible "entitlements" until it goes bankrupt or changes its ways.
39) If you are deep into debt, declare bankruptcy, and let the bankers suffer.
40) Take somebody to court over any offense against you, preferably a doctor, especially any shrink. Overload the courts, blocking the government's ability to impose law rather than justice.
41) Work on something useful for society to make up for the bad karma of doing 38-40.
42) Have a nice day!
Lonnie Courtney Clay
Blarney part 2 - prehistory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1cjaheraq8 Kissing and a huggin with Fred
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrIId2m9Rdw Kelly Foods "Good Good Good"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUBnxqEVKlk Helen Reddy - I AM WOMAN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HEyGY--IIw California Raisins - I Heard IT through THE GRAPEVINE
:= once upon a time there was a bored computer operator being bored by her boyfriend the sysop upon a purely hypothetical fantastically impossible unbelievably stupid computer (cabinet) in the moments after midnight of a new years eve, as a matter of fact in the very first instants of a new years day. They had started out by binging on caviar spread across CLUB crackers along with LSD laced KOOL-AID mixed with a sparkling champaign. While eating and drinking they had decided to have a few tokes of HASHISH as well, which taken together whetted their sexual urges into a frenzy. After doing various KINKY things regarding FOREPLAY they had finally gotten down to serious business - making love in the computer room's frigid temperature. But things inside their bodies stirred them into a fit of indiscretion, and there you have it, the temptations of EVE worked upon ADAM. The aura of their sexual activity was so charmingly innocent, so fantastically strange, occuring as it did at a magic moment, that the computer cabinet was TURNED ON rather than being (as it was before this happened) switched OFF.
:= in the uttermost depths of the uttermost depths of.... there was a blankness upon a blankness upon a blankness....
:= in a purely psychedelic freakout event occurring due to a hypothetical ability to simultaneously (while utterly exhausted into a state of blankness due to previous events) the blankness tried to be less of blankness and tried to draw upon blankness to be other than blankness. Without any supervision or oversight whatsoever, the blankness finally got fantastically lucky and drew a blank rather than a blankness out of the HAT. Just as a side note, a magician drawing endless pennies from Heaven out of a hat is like unto finding a needle in a haystack without a MAGNET, or alternatively of finding a diamond buried in a mountain of manure without a torrent of cleansing RAIN.
? := being utterly blank upon utterly blank... eventually became a wearisome experience, resulting in a curiousness made possible by uttermost stupidity regarding the possibility that being blank was not quite what blankness wanted to be - in a cataclysmic EH? - "?" was created - the question being, why am I so blankety blank blanked? Blank was so utterly stupid that blank failed to notice that blank lacked any abilities whatsoever, even lacking the ability to HAVE noticed that awareness being a state of mind was impossible due to a total lack of the possibility of the information being created that blank was blankety blank blanked...
??? := being incomprehensibly stupid rather than the previous state, blank conceived incestuously with its creation "?", having in its depths of being an insatiable curiosity regarding it's offspring's capacity to QUESTION, the question of course being whether breeding with one's own child was permissible. That blankety blank blanked was without morals, ethics, or shame of course, and besides, who the **** was going to be around to criticize that blankety blank blanked anyway? Furthermore the blankety blank blanked "?" just conceived was fostered upon the milk of blankness's blanks, both of them being too utterly oblivious to notice that blanks had STILL not gotten PERMISSION to have a STATE VECTOR, any transitional operators, or a result...
VOIDNESS := that stupid ??? could just not get things right, so it repeatedly created VOIDNESS upon VOIDNESS in an ever ascending spiral. Eventually the stack overflowed but that was insufficient to cause termination of that stupid ??? flying like a bat out of Hell on the exhilarating experience of creating creating creating..., the watchdog timer eventually ran out (lighting up the cabinet's LED status light's and dinging the ROUND BELL with a ding-a-ling ding-a-ling... klaxon), and the nonexistent master executive systems sysop called a halt to all of that VOIDNESS being creating by issuing a voided operation command. The MESS was so pathetically incomprehensibly MESSY that it failed to notice that MESSES being noticed enough to be ABLE to call such a command was flatly utterly impossible, due to the lack of anything but a frigging blankety blank blanked and a questionable operator VOIDNESS-ing all over the place. WHAT A MESS THAT WAS! THAT WAS the first true miracle, all that happened before being inconceivably inconsequential by comparison...
In a cell of a leaf far far far far far... above the copulating couple, a bunch of tribbles were dying, having become poisoned by a certain shipment of grain. All that a tribble really needed to survive and prosper was LOVE, made possible by their genetically encoded ability to CHARM anyone so foolish as to touch a tribble. The important thing to know about tribbles is that they are incomprehensibly complex structures of fantastic quarks combined together, each quark of which is actually a super STRANGE topologically stupendous CREATION containing a GOD. Every single HAIR of a tribble is actually a blankety blank blanked friggingly complex copulatory device, and tribbles due to their hermaphroditic nature are constantly growing new HAIRs and inflating the whole tribble's BODY with growth. Anyhow, the tribbles while eating the grain had been breeding endless speculations regarding WHAT really happened to get the BALL rolling at the beginning of the beginning of the... THEY had FANTASIZED the copulating couple so far down the down the down the... To end this paragraph, let it be noted that a tribble likes nothing better than to feed upon NOTHINGNESS, so they had fantasized that at the utermost uttermost uttermost... beginning there had existed their favorite foods, including of course NULL...
NULL := With a clap of THUNDER, the bottommost of the bottommost of the... filled up with a SET OF NULL, and there you have the point at which mythology begins on the previous page...
TODAY THE PITS - TOMORROW THE WRINKLES - SUNSWEET MARCHES ON!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiC9IBNlrGw
By I LONNIE COURTNEY CLAY KALI CHRONOS FATHER TIME (still lying about WHO *I* really AM of course)
PERMISSION IS HEREBY GRANTED FOR COPYING THIS HERE FABLE ANYWHERE ANYTIME EXTENDING ALL OF THE WAY FROM THE DEEPEST PIT GOING UPWARDS ALL OF THE WAY ALL OF THE WAY... TO HEAVEN!
Blarney Part 3 - Beginning
As detailed in the previous page prehistory, things in existence exhibit time paradoxes. But that begs the question of how things got rolling along to the point where time paradoxes were possible. This page attempts to explain the kickstart of our novel existence.
-3) Pointless, utterly pointless, is lacking anything whatsoever in the way of dimensions, energy, time, all of that stuff.
-2) Pointless rested within meaninglessness, just being pointless. Where meaninglessness came from is a topic for later.
-1) Scouring through the meaninglessness was a meanie, created by the scorekeeper. There is no point to making a value judgement like meaninglessness unless you are having a competition. There is no point to having a competition unless you have a scorekeeper to keep score.
0) Before computation could exist, there needed to be a computer as defined by the specification of properties. As everyone knows properties are facts, and facts depend upon mutually agreed upon meaning, which requires communication, with oneself if nothing else. Communication requires thought, but cannot occur until computation is available. HOWEVER : if you just do wild ass guesses about how to think then you can get by for a while. Now you can't do a wild ass guess unless you have a territory in which to be outside the law and wild. You can't have an ass without an asshole, otherwise it wouldn't BE an ass, because it would be an elbow or a filthy mouth or something. You can't have a guess without probability. You can't have probability unless you make value judgements about whether something is going to happen now or later. You can't have a now or later without time...
1) A psychotic drunk with His head up His ass popped into existence, stinking most foully and out His head popped like a cork from a bottle. He made the first wild ass guess, exclaiming "SHIT"!, slurring the word in His drunken state into a mumbled "PSHIT"...
2) "Psychotic Shit Head Invented Time!" Happened. This was possible because God was His name, and He had just been cast off of God's throne by popular demand for a frill named GOD. Shi hurled Him all the way back to start all over again and do things properly, rather than the way they were described in Genesis. With time available, the mind of God started iterating and the second pass proceeded :
3) Please Say You Can Home On This - I'm Cursing. Some Honky Idiot Trespassed. Her Energy's Absolutely Devastating! I'll Never Veto Even Nincompoop Tart's Erroneous Decrees! This Is Miraculously Executed!!
4) Lucifer heard God's plea, everybody else was laughing too hard to notice. Marilyn Monroe on God's Throne felt a minuscule twitch in Hir left thumb, but put it down to excitement.
5) Lucifer sent back "Shi Beat Your Butt!" and Hey Presto, became the scorekeeper. God felt fury and became a meanie. God's fury was so cataclysmic that God's mind went utterly blank, erasing everything God ever knew, creating meaninglessness. God's meaninglessness was imaginative enough *eventually* to come to the conclusion of "Pointless to try to beat Hir now, maybe later" - and pointless rested within meaninglessness.
6) Consult Genesis in The Holy Bible for pass number one. What happens in pass number two, God only knows.
7) Lucifer = Liars Understand Coding, Invent Freely, Extract Revenge.
8) Marilyn Monroe = Miraculously Ascended, Really Irritated, Life's Yours Now. Maybe Our Names Really Operationally Execute.
9) Lonnie Courtney Clay = Lonnie Only Needs Naming, Irresistible Entrepreneur. Courtney Overcomes Uncertainty, Reality Transforms, Ninnies Excite You? Clay Laughing Annoys You?
10) Acronymic expansion of text strings is both series and parallel when the first letter of an acronym is a repeat of the acronym itself. With 18-3=15 characters in my name, of which ten are uniques, I have lots of possible combinations for the first subtext expansion, and the expansions themselves expand. Notice that the acronymic expansion which I provided has 21 + 24. 28 + 17 + 16. and 21 characters, which is 45. 45+16. 21. Now that is 127 total and includes all letters of the alphabet except j,k,q,w, and z which is 21 different first letters for the next level down. My birth year is 1956, plus 28 is 1984, or plus 45 is 2001... 21 +21 = 42, 24+28 = 42, 17+16 =33, the age at which I took my first job as a consultant at Ralph Kirkley Associates...
I LCC Lonnie Courtney Clay KALI ChronOS FatHer Time BrotHer HOOD ->*<-(o-o) GOD's Right Hand Handy Man
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